The World is Mine

So after mulling over all things financial and stressful over the last few weeks, I came across a piece of paper from 2 years ago on which I listed all of our debts and the amounts owed. So I sat down and, underneath the old list, rewrote that same list of items to pay off and was proud to put a big fat zero next to a couple of them, and to update the others with much smaller numbers. It was a nice surprise! We have paid off over $9,200 worth of debt in a little over two years. Not including all the medical bills we paid off after having a second child (which I remember was a bit of a stretch at the time.) It’s hard to see that growth without looking at the specific numbers from 2013 when we first moved here. I also wrote a new list called “Assets” because I was feeling generous 🙂 And I was pleased to write how much money we’ve saved up in our bank account and to add a few new categories like our Whole Life insurance policy and our retirement plan. Those may not be super big right now, but it’s a start! I also looked up the value of our car on Kelley Bluebook, and was happy to find our car is worth more than we owe! So anyway, it was some happy news, and looking over some of our finances of the last few years, we have done a pretty good job of “staying on track” a lot of the time, and “spent too much” some of the time. I can deal with that, as long as we’re moving forward!

Since I have been done with Footloose, I have not had a whole lot going on besides mommy business. And I have been really enjoying it! It’s such a blessing to feel that way. I’m not feeling the need to rush into any new projects right now. Little Finn turned 18 months and is still quite sweet and easy-going before the roar of the terrible two’s, and Rose is sweet and easy to please. We haven’t gotten together with friends for play dates as much lately. We just do everything together, and it’s been simple and nice. It would be nice to fit a few more family get-togethers in there, but we do what we can. So as I’ve been mulling over these goals and plans for the future, I think Heavenly Father has blessed me with a grateful heart. And it has been the answer to so much. I don’t think I really need to sweat those tiny details–we have our long term goals and we’re doing a good job of working on things one step at a time in faith.

We had a hectic couple of days this week. On Sunday, I was feeding Finn some snacks in sacrament meeting because he always misses lunch due to his nap. He was eating a granola bar and I think I was being overconfident in his chewing abilities, plus I think he had too many bites all at once, and he breathed in some of the food and started coughing and then choking and then he threw up. Sweet Lisa Baxter sitting in front of me turned to give assistance and found a ziplock bag to catch… the stuff. Anyway, we cleaned up and continued with our day, but Finn continued to have a deep cough and was a bit lethargic. Raimo called our pediatric office, and the doctor was very helpful and told us to watch it and see if the cough and symptoms continued, and to bring him in the next day if so.

*rose wrote these at church! Got her brother’s name down!

*cute photo from Sunday night.. Someone snuck out. All her stuffed animals were behind the door*

Finn woke up at 4 am and was pretty unhappy. It’s not unusual for him to wake up at that hour once in a while. I usually go into his room and help him get settled back down. He was pretty upset this time, and though I did get him back to sleep, I laid in bed for a while before falling asleep and had an impression that he needed to go to the doctor. I am thankful for that blessed mother’s intuition, or inspiration from God. I am usually hesitant to go to the doctor because a lot of the time we just get sent back home with the usual instructions: make sure he has more fluids, gets lots of rest, uses a humidifier, we know the drill, if it gets worse come back, etc. I called in the morning and our appointment wasn’t until 3:20 pm. So we hung around in the morning 

and when it started getting really hot, we got out of the house and headed to the park at Moonlight beach. Finn had been irritable and whiny, had only coughed occasionally, and I was thinking of just skipping the doctor appointment, but we headed there nonetheless. We were hot from the park, and Finn took a nap in the car, so I drove around for a bit.

Finally we were seen by one of the doctors, and she listened to our story and reeeeaaaaallllly took her time listening with her stethoscope. She listened some more. Then she said one lung was definitely filling with less air than the other. She went away for a bit–she seemed undecided about it all. When she came back she said one option was to send us to radiology for some x-rays just next door. But that those would take two hours to get results, and even then sometimes x-rays are inconclusive and there could still be something lodged inside of him. So she said we should go straight to Rady’s Children’s Hospital and do the x-rays there.

I made the executive decision to stop at In ‘n Out to feed the children (and myself and Raimo, who met us there). I had a feeling it might be a long evening (and it was).

We finally arrived, took some x-rays, more waiting, faxed that to the pediatrician, more x-rays, then someone came out and said, “Ok it looks like we’re going to the emergency room.” So then we checked in there and did some more waiting. Then they called Finn back, we saw a doctor, and more waiting. Finally at 9:15 pm we found out they were going to do a procedure at 10 pm to check his lungs. They said they do this very often, sometimes they find something, sometimes they don’t, but it’s very important to check because if it goes undetected it’s very dangerous. They really downplayed it, said it’s unlikely that he will have too much of a recovery, that very rarely there will be a little scraping up of the throat and lips and swelling. And that only on occasion will they keep someone overnight afterward.

So we were scrambling to get some coverage for Rose, then realized that he would be going under general anesthesia and we wouldn’t get to be in the room. That was really hard for me. Even harder for me was watching a very kind, very helpful assistant wheel him away in a little blue wagon. He was just so little, and the back of his little blonde head so sweet as he rolled away. I was not too worried, but I was aware of the possibilities of things going wrong and it was soooo hard.

We ended up waiting for much longer than they had projected. About an hour later someone came and updated us, saying that they were finding more in there than expected, but that things were going well. So we continued to wait and around 12:30 the surgeon finally came back and explained the process and showed us the pictures of all the granola they retrieved. 

*the top 3 are his healthy larynx, throat, and one side of the lung. The very middle photo is what they saw when they entered the second side, which they removed, then saw more food (photo 6), and then still more (photo 7). 

It was a little terrifying at first because he walked in with such a grave face. I think he wanted to express the gravity of the situation, and warned us of giving a child anything too hard like nuts or carrots, etc. He also told us they’d ended up intubating him, which they weren’t planning on, since some of the pieces were farther down and so small. Because of the amount of food removed, they kept him overnight to monitor him. I was glad for that because I wanted to be sure he was ok. We both feel so grateful for modern medicine and talented doctors who can fix things like this. Such a small thing would have killed a baby and they would have probably just labeled it pneumonia. 

Since Finn had been under anesthesia for a longer time, it took another hour for him to wake up. I was dying to be with him. Finally we got to see him, and he was pretty upset and his little lips were so swollen. We finally got him situated in our room and he eventually calmed down and fell asleep on Raimo’s shoulder (he isn’t as comfortable on mine, even though I wanted to hold him.) I took my turn after showering and changing out of my workout clothes. I was freezing and so gross all evening.

It was bliss to have him healthy and granola free in my arms (the anesthesiologist was calling him “granola boy”). We went to bed around 2 on the tiny couch, both Raimo and I. Snuggled like the early days haha. We both crashed. Finn woke up pretty unhappy around 4 and again a few more times. You could hear the swollenness in his throat and that he felt awful. In the morning he was happy to eat a whole container of strawberry yogurt and a container of chocolate pudding and some water, so because of that we were allowed to be discharged. They took another x-ray, checked him out, and we headed home around 10.

We crashed at home today and napped. Rose has been very supportive and sweet to Finn, with a small meltdown about not getting to ride in the blue wagon like Finn. (Trust us Rose, you don’t want to!) She has the cutest little sincere expressions like, “I’m so so sorry Finn” with so much empathy in her voice. My friend Lindsey and her husband ended up picking her up last night, along with our spare car at In ‘n Out, then switching out when my mom and brother arrived. I’m so grateful for them! Today was a hot day at home and Finn was walking around in his diaper, a little off-kilter and with very tired eyes and a bit of a yucky cough, but his little white body is the best thing ever. I’m so thankful for him. Stop giving mom a heart-attack, Finn!

To wrap it all up, I was making some meatballs around 2 today because when I woke up I was ready to really EAT, and it was hot and Finn was crying, but I had never been more happy to do it and grateful for my house and home and family. The world is mine.

Today on a bus, I saw a lovely girl with silken hair
I envied her, she seemed so gay, and I wished I was so fair
When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the isle
O God, forgive me when I whine
I have two legs, the world is mine

And then I stopped to buy some sweets
The lad who sold them had such charm
I talked with him, he seemed so calm, and if I were late it would do no harm,
And as I left he said to me “I thank you, you have been so kind”
It’s nice to talk with folks like you. You see, I’m blind
O God forgive me when I whine
I have two eyes, the world is mine

Later walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue
He stood and watched the others play; it seemed he knew not what to do
I stopped a moment, then I said, why don’t you join the others dear”
He looked ahead without a word, and then I knew he could not hear
O God forgive me when I whine
I have two ears, the world is mine

With legs to take me where I’ll go
With eyes to see the sunsets glow
With ears to ear what I would know
O God forgive me when I whine
I’m blessed, indeed, the world is mine

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